Sleep, glorious sleep

Once upon a time I slept like a baby, even as an adult. Long, delicious, deep sleep, where you wake up revived and fresh for another day. This all changed as I became first peri menopausal and then post menopausal. Along with becoming more emotionally sensitive it was probably the first sign that my female hormones were diminishing. Certainly night sweats and the way my body heats up as I get closer to morning didn't help. But my sleep issues have persisted past the hot flush phase, irrespective of whether or not I'm worrying about something or not. It's like my brain has become a faulty computer permanently switched on. Often I'm not really thinking about anything just awake. I have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. Left to its own devices my body would survive, badly on 1 or 2 sleep cycles a night, catching up once a week or so with more before resuming its faulty pattern. This would be fine if I had suddenly morphed into someone who needs very little sleep. Sadly, I function better with 8hrs sleep & become an over sensitive, dysfunctional, depressed person. Having had nearly 10 years of experience of this I feel I'm somewhat an expert in sleep. So this is a blog to share what I've found to be helpful.

This info-graph nicely summarises what has the most effect on your sleep

Every expert I’ve ever listened to confirms that having the same sleep times every day is the biggest factor for keeping a strong circadian rhythm. Basically no napping, go to bed only when you feel sleepy & wake up at the same time every day. If you're still persistently struggling, then some sleep restricting is probably called for. For this, start with the amount of time you are currently sleeping and extend this very very slowly. This approach keeps the pressure to sleep high and increases your chances of getting more sleep. Similarly, experts usually recommend keeping your bedroom for sleep & sex only to strengthen the brain sleep connection.

Whether or not you stay in bed whilst awake is more up for debate. These days I'll stay in bed awake so long as I'm comfortable and not stressing about being awake, otherwise I'll get up.

Here are my ‘going to bed’ routine/rules: These rituals help me to get the best sleep I can

• no looking at emails for at least 2 hrs before bed. I need a long switch off period.

• I’ll often read a little in bed particularly if I've been watching TV which I always find is overstimulating. A novel is much more soporific for me

• avoid alcohol after 8pm - as your body metabolises alcohol it heats you up & reduces your chances of sleep

• No coffee in the afternoons

• a relaxing evening bath not only relaxes my mind but ensures I have no cold toes or thighs when I go to bed

• cool bedroom, the colder the better the deeper I sleep.

• Dark bedroom and I wear earplugs.

• As I get into bed, I remind myself how nice it is to snuggle into my duvet and how I love my pillow, taking lots of time to notice all the possible details. It's a kind of gratitude practice and ensures I feel no stress about going to bed. I really like my Blackroll recovery pillow that rolls up and can be taken anywhere reducing the different-ness of sleeping somewhere else. Playing back any nice memories from the day is also very relaxing, coupled with a few xtra long exhalations.

• If I haven't fallen asleep within 20minutes or so or if I feel wide awake at midnight I'll listen to a Headspace app sleepcast (a narrated description of a pleasing scene), I particularly like Harvest Inn, Midnight laundrette, Beachcomber, Holiday Chalet, & Cat Marina. These include a short breathing or visualisation exercise, but you can add more of this if you want. I also use a hypnosis app which at first was so helpful that I'd fall asleep before it finished. Sadly this proved short lived as eventually it stopped engaging my brain. Now I can almost remember all the cues so follow the process without listening to the recording.

• If I'm really struggling I might get up and make a cup of sleepy herbal tea and read until I feel sleepy.

  
  
  
  

Things I've tried that haven't helped:

• herbal teas., a nice none caffeinated beverage but Doesn’t really help me sleep.

• Counting sheep or backwards. In fact any mindboring mind game. For me they keep my brain awake as it tries to complete the task. It feels like work and isn’t relaxing.

• Over the counter supplements - magnesium, melissa, hops,  L.theanine, L.tryptophan. Sometimes I think the latter helps with quality of sleep but it’s marginal gains.

• I like lavender on my pillow but can't say it really helps me sleep.

Other things that have helped

I completed the Headspace app sleep program. It was reassuring to hear that we all wake up many times a night and just can't remember each occasion.

I also adopted the suggestion of a worry window appointment with myself each morning. Often it isn't necessary but from time to time this works amazingly well. Then, whenever a worry is nagging I can quickly tell myself I'll give it attention during my worry window.

Exercise - well anything in the fresh air at any rate. If my body is tired my mind relaxes. Fortunately I like exercise so this is no problem until I need a rest day.

Ensuring I refuel well from particularly intense exercise. As much as I like to cut back to help lose fat on exercise days. Under fuelling especially with carbs hurts my sleep.

I don’t know the source for the following but do find the words reassuring whenever my sleep takes a down turn.

I live in hope that once my brain has finished adjusting to its post menopausal state that I’ll sleep a little better even though as we age our sleep patterns change.

How do you ensure you get the best sleep ever?